HOW TO DECIDE TOGETHER

How to decide and work together.

WHAT IS THE ITEM THE GROUP IS GOING TO DECIDE ABOUT.

When you live by yourself day by day.
You decide for yourself what you do.
But when you at a gathering and you choose to work together with your 
brothers and sisters it's a different story.
The whole proces of deciding and action is different.
You need to tune into the others to be more a part of the shared vision.
If the shared vision is deep sea diving then this is the binding factor 
that brings and keeps the group together.
In our case it's a gathering and what needs to happen in order to make 
it a gathering.
That means getting together with most of the time new people.
Form a circle and after the om one person starts speaking.
If it's at the beginning of a gathering lots of work needs to be done.
So lots of decisions need to be taken. But every year people deciding 
about the same things.
The site of the seed camp. When to move from the seed camp to the 
actual main site. What to buy, where to buy?
There are always a few persons that have enough experience and vision to 
come up with the practical proposals to build for instance a kitchen.
It's obvious that we need a kitchen, so the consensus (agreement) is easy.
Yes we need a kitchen.
The second step is might be less easy, to decide where?
The more the proces evolves the harder it gets to come to an agreement 
with the whole group. Now here is something that takes a little more experience.

LEARN HOW TO TRUST ONE ANOTHER 

We want to understand what we're exactly deciding about. 
We want to feel and have control on the item and so therefore we talk 
about it including the details. Nothing wrong with this attitude.
The trap where all beginners (and almost everybody is a beginner) 
fall into is 2 things:

* After the item has been talked about enough, to not be able to let go of the item.
* And even more important: Not having the "TRUST" that it will be worked out fine
 by the the person who's gonne do the job  (or the work group)
                                                                         
Once you notice this within yourself, you will be more able let go and trust. 
That's cool. In this way the whole process of decision making by a group goes 
swift and smooth. It's the old Buddhist teaching, once a thought enters the mind, 
let go of it....

It will come back if it needs to come back in order to be realised 
and to be worked out, if that's what's needed. But a lot of thoughts 
are just like spam, they don't make any sense,
they stick to you and they suck, literally!

It's complicated enough to work together with a bunch of people 
that hardly know each other. 

HOW DOES A GROUP OR CIRCLE DECIDE 

Let's say a group somewhere on this planet decide about starting a 
national Rainbow website. A website that helps to gather the people 
of that country and to start local activities. The advice that persons 
give who often went through the same workproces is the following.
As soon as it becomes harder to come to consensus, it often means that 
it's time to change strategies.
It means that the main group can decide for instance to start a 
national Rainbow website. There are a few ways to confirm that
consensus. After the topic has been talked about for many rounds 
and everyone took the chance to verbalise their opinions and proposals.
Individual energies are being released and everyone has the feeling of 
having being heard. It is time for the decision.

One way is the short way, one person asks: is there an agreement 
(consensus) in this circle? A common wish is to start a national website.
Do we also agree that x will be the focalizer of this project.
Then silenty count to ten (with his/her fingers, so everybode can see)
If no one speaks out or objects then the circle decides in silence 
as the counting ends. Smiling faces and sounds of joy fill the air, 
yes we did it!

The other, longer way is, one person speaks out the proposal and when 
the stick goes around and back to him/her in silence, consensus is being 
reached. The decision has been made.

FOCALIZER OR WORK GROUP

The group decides for a national website and also agrees who is gonne 
do this job. The focalizer is the name of the person who will take the job.
If needed he/she invites somebody to help, to do the job together. 
Sometimes even more than 2 persons are needed to do the job.
(For intance, in case of a full moon celebration)

After the main group has come to a consensus about an item, 
they let go of the topic and the responsebility of this project 
lies in the hands of the focalizer or/and the working group. 
Most of the time decisions haven't been written down because 
of the nature of the gathering. But in order to remember the details 
of the group's consensus sometimes it wil be written down.

KNOWING WHAT THE WORK GROUP IS DOING

Obviously any time any person can ask the working group how it's going.
Not from the idea of controlling and being bossy, but more from the idea 
of equal beings who are interested in each other's projects. Because it 
all adds up to the greater creation of all things. 
Remember, the biggest fights and battlefields are within.

FAST WAY OF WORKING AND DECIDING TOGETHER

If one person is going to work out the job then it's not so hard 
to make decisions and do the job. With a group it's a different story.
The whole proces of listening to each other and coming to a 
groups concensus can create an atmosphere of harmony and clarity.
It's the first important group decision about an important item.  
But as the main group has given the responsebility to the work group 
to work out the job. It's not necessary anymore in this step of the 
proces to decide about any detail of the work the way the main group 
has decided. (The counting to 10 or the stick going around the circle)
This way of deciding takes much too long as the work progresses. 
For the sake of the work that needs to be done and for the whole 
community, it's more practical to use the normal free talking way.
The different tasks become much more clear now for everybody.
So now we can work in an atmosphere of free discussion and quick 
decision making, without the talking stick. A natural and fast 
concensus will take place now and the work will be done.

The art is when to use the talking stick and when not to use the 
talking stick.


SOME MORE ABOUT TRUST AND DISTRUST

The magic that makes all things work is to trust each other.
Even if you get stepped on or pushed away or being ignored. 
Keep trusting in "trust each other". When distrust rules the minds 
of a group of people, then nothing really positive can be done.
The individuals in this group build walls around themselves. 
It becomes like a cold war. Under the surface fear, a lack of 
self esteem and frustration keep the people blocked from freely 
expressing themselves.
When things don't change, it's out of the frying pan, into the fire.
We can see these results on the daily news and around us.
There can be emotional and psychological blocks from your childhood 
that can keep you from being able to trust.
It can be a long healing process to gain trust and faith.
This process happens everywhere. It's a part of going the spiritual path.
It's a part of the transformation that has to take place on this 
planet in order to rise above the sea of samsara.
To free oneself from this and start to have a little more faith 
in oneself and the people around.

I hope this writing gives you a better idea about how to decide 
and work together. Now you can jump in the river called life and 
see how you can keep your head above the water... and start to create,
create your own heart wishes and dreams and also together with others.

Matu